If writers aspired to Olympic superherodom…

So now I’m wondering — thanks to Shirley and Sandy — if Phelps is genetically engineered (by nature, of course; I’m fairly certain he’s not the product of a quasi-governmental agency with a gray ops budget and trade relations with Atlantis) to be the perfect swimmer, what would be the perfect writer phenotype?

“Gentlemen, we can make her faster… at typing. Wider in the butt for superior stability in the chair. With two more surgeries, she’ll be able to type with her toes…”

I sense a new comic book. Or maybe a reality TV show. Do you want to be the hero? Or the villain? What writerly superpower would you have?

I call the ability to turn prose purple with flames that shoot out from my fingertips. My calling card will be scatterings of single letters in a range of lavender to violet hue. Sweeet. The reader/viewer isn’t sure yet whether I’m good or evil.

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