So I’ve been trying to come up with an author tagline — a short phrase that describes the kind of stories I tell. And I came across this awesome list of euphemisms for puking.
You see the connection, I’m sure.
Maybe it’s because it’s one in the morning and I am harkening back (harkening sounds like a euphemism for vomit) to my collegiate studies. So, sorry, but I have to share:
- Meet my friends Ralph and Earl.
- Negative chug
- Play with the edible yo-yo
- Bring it up for a vote
- The Brooklyn mating call
- The Jersey yodel
- Thunder-chunder rainbow parfait
- Involuntary personal protein spill
- Unrecoverable application error
And the grand-gross winner in our household:
- Whistling beef
My XY was thrilled with this find. He suggested that an even more visually accurate — and viscerally disgusting — version would be “whistling ground beef.”
This is why I love him.
He wondered about the history of the man (and we’re sure it was a man) who invented this phrase. He claimed that surely there is a statue in a town square somewhere remembering the fellow. Perhaps the plaque below the prone bronze reads thusly:
Chad Briscomb, 1972, after a night of drinking and an ill-advised breakfast
I now return to the search for an author tagline with a lighter heart. Or a lighter stomach anyway.