Not for the weak of stomach

So I’ve been trying to come up with an author tagline — a short phrase that describes the kind of stories I tell.  And I came across this awesome list of euphemisms for puking.

You see the connection, I’m sure.

Maybe it’s because it’s one in the morning and I am harkening back (harkening sounds like a euphemism for vomit) to my collegiate studies.  So, sorry, but I have to share:

  • Meet my friends Ralph and Earl.
  • Negative chug
  • Play with the edible yo-yo
  • Bring it up for a vote
  • The Brooklyn mating call
  • The Jersey yodel
  • Thunder-chunder rainbow parfait
  • Involuntary personal protein spill
  • Unrecoverable application error

And the grand-gross winner in our household:

  • Whistling beef

My XY was thrilled with this find.  He suggested that an even more visually accurate — and viscerally disgusting — version would be “whistling ground beef.” 

This is why I love him.

He wondered about the history of the man (and we’re sure it was a man) who invented this phrase.  He claimed that surely there is a statue in a town square somewhere remembering the fellow.  Perhaps the plaque below the prone bronze reads thusly:

Chad Briscomb, 1972, after a night of drinking and an ill-advised breakfast

I now return to the search for an author tagline with a lighter heart.  Or a lighter stomach anyway.


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