As cliche as sliced bread

Just saw the trailer for The Wolfman where  Benicio Del Toro gets to squint and use the #1 most cliche paranormal line evah:

“What kind of animal could do that?”

Dum-da-duuuuummmm!

Extra cliche bonus points if he touches in the inside of a mud track, licks his fingers, squints some more, and says, “It’s close.”

Okay, it’s not Benicio’s fault.  It’s the writers.  C”mon, guys.  There were probably — what? — a dozen of you, all told, and you couldn’t come up with a better line than “What kind of animal could do that?”

#2 most cliche paranormal line:
“It’s just the wind.”

As my co-worker likes to say, “It’s never just the wind.”  The corollary to my co-worker’s astute observation that it’s never just the wind is that, as a writer, you should never give anyone the line “It’s just the wind” for fear of evoking…

Dum-da-duuuummmmmmm!

#3 most cliche action-adventure line often used in paranormals:
“Don’t you die on me.”  Usually followed by a heart-wrenching “Noooooo!” when the exhorted character does indeed die on the character doing the exhorting.  Said death is usually caused by the same not-animal referenced in the #1 most cliche paranormal line.

Dum-da-dumb.

Oh, just ignore me.  I’m bitter because I’m trying to make sure I don’t rhyme fire, higher and desire anywhere in my love scene revisions.

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